


For Dave

by Starofwinter



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 01:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18273011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: Grief is a powerful, ugly thing, but it's a motivator.





	For Dave

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched everything with Dave and Klaus again and cried like a baby, _so_ I'm dragging everyone else back to hell with me.

Klaus feels scraped raw.  Not like the overwhelmed, bouncing way where he needs to do  _ something _ to get rid of the excess energy in his bones, or the tired, numb way he gets when the sobriety gets too close and he realizes just how badly fucked he is. 

This is new.  This is grief like he hasn’t felt since Ben died, like he’s been torn open and everything, every soft, wet piece of himself is exposed to the air, shredded, and salt thrown onto the gaping wounds.  

He feels like he’s dying - even more than any time he’s gotten close to dying.  He  _ wants _ to die.  He wants this to  _ stop. _

When the bus stops, and he destroys the  _ stupid fucking case _ , he drops to the ground and  _ screams. _  It doesn’t help.  Of course it doesn’t.   _ Nothing _ is going to help this.  Nothing but finding Dave again and holding him in his arms.  

He drags himself home, the dogtags clinking on his chest, the vest that still smells like  _ Dave _ wrapped tight around him.  Five is there, and his reaction -  _ excitement _ \- grates along Klaus’ exposed nerves, but he covers it with a smile, like he covers everything, because he knows this isn’t really about him - it never is - this is about Five, the mission, and how to keep fighting when all he wants to do is lay down and let death take him.  Maybe, if he’s fucking lucky, Dave will be there.

It’s a rattling cacophony in his head, louder than the ghosts.   _ Dave, Dave, Dave, I miss you, Dave please come back, please be here _ .  It hurts, and he wants to curl up around the soft exposed parts of him, but he can’t.  He never can.

Five calls him stupid, and maybe he is.  Maybe he was stupid to fall in love with the beautiful, gentle man with the kindest blue eyes he’s ever seen, but he’d never felt love like that before.  

No one notices.  He doesn’t know why that hurts, he’s made a whole life for himself of making sure people notice exactly what he wants them to.  Still, Luther snapping at him, Five… being Five, it scrapes even more pieces of him raw - Diego is comforting, in his Diego-like, awkward way, and that makes it hurt just a little less, for a minute.  Then the family meeting happens, and Klaus wants to scream again when Luther says that of course he isn’t going to face it; like always though, he just smiles, and brushes it off with a joke and a shrug.  The honest truth is that he doesn’t  _ care _ anymore.

He doesn’t care about stopping the apocalypse anymore, even if he did, what the fuck would they be able to do?  But maybe, just maybe, he can see Dave again, so he dumps his pills down the drain, and he asks Diego - because Diego, of all of them,  _ gets it _ \- for help.  For Dave.


End file.
